To be honest, by the end of the day, all I want to do is lay down next to my kids and go to sleep. After putting them to bed, I’d collapse, feeling utterly exhausted, restless, and worn out by the day. The next morning, I might wake up feeling a bit refreshed, but before long, I’d slip back into the same cycle of exhaustion.

My journey as a single mom in the military has been a constant balancing act—trying to manage my responsibilities while finding space for myself. I’ve realized over time that self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. But for the longest time, I neglected my own needs, telling myself there wasn’t enough time or energy left after taking care of the kids, my duties, and everything else life throws at me.

I had a solid bedtime routine for my kids—brushing their teeth, reading them a story, saying our nightly prayers—but I had nothing for myself. I would just fall into bed, worn out and drained. It hit me that I needed to start caring for myself in even the smallest ways, so I began incorporating simple habits into my night.

At first, it was just brushing my teeth. As basic as that sounds, I had been skipping it some nights because I was just that tired. Once I got that down, I started adding little things like taking a nice bath or practicing a skincare routine before bed. I even started reading for a few minutes—something light that would help me unwind. And while I don’t do all of these things every single night, I make sure to do at least one. It may seem small, but these little acts of care make me feel like I’m doing something for me, even if it’s just five minutes.

I also realized that checking just one thing off my to-do list each day gave me a sense of accomplishment and peace. Sometimes that’s all we need—one small win to feel like we’re on the right track. For me, that became another form of self-care.

Recently, I started working out almost daily, and I think it’s doing more for my mental health than my physical health. Exercise has become my release, a way to clear my mind and feel like I’m taking charge of my well-being. My therapist would be so proud! And speaking of therapy, it’s been a game-changer for me. I’ve been in therapy since my first command, and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Therapy has given me tools to navigate the tough days, and I encourage everyone to seek out some form of professional support. Sometimes, we just need that outside perspective to help us manage the weight of everything we’re carrying.

At the end of the day, life is busy, chaotic, and unpredictable—especially as a single mom in the military. But I’ve learned that if I don’t take care of myself, I can’t take care of everything else. The small acts of self-care may not seem like much, but they’ve made a world of difference in how I approach each day. It’s not about perfection; it’s about finding balance and recognizing that we deserve to care for ourselves too.